On the five-year anniversary of my mom's death
I'm revisiting the book I wrote while she was dying
When I started writing books (12 years ago!), people didn’t talk about them while they were in progress. Everything was very hush-hush, super-secret, mysterious. Thankfully, a lot of the industry is being more transparent – for better or for worse.
For better, I love that writers share about what they’re working on, taking us along for the ride. And I want to do that too.
To date, I’ve written six young adult novels.
The first one is called This Year.
This Year
A three-part novel about three girls experiencing grief, forgiveness, and friendship during the “most wonderful time of the year.”
This year, Hadley and her dad won’t be doing their annual Black Friday shopping. Because her dad is dead. She continues to text him, though, as she searches for the perfect gift that might draw her mom out of her grief. When she gets a mysterious response from her dad’s old number, she has to decide if she’s ready to step through grief herself.
This year, Mary Ora has landed the coveted role of the Sugar Plum Fairy, a solo she deserves. But during a promotional routine inside an inflatable snow globe, her dreams are fractured by a reckless driver, who turns out to be someone she needs, but can’t forgive.
This year, Eve’s felt completely abandoned by her mom, her best friend, and at times, her dad. She also seems to be the only one who truly sees her brother, but she can’t help him alone. Thank goodness for his best friend’s cute brother.
When the girls’ paths come together during the holiday season, they start evaluating their previous relationships and mistakes. Forging a new community with authentic friendships is healing, but will it be enough to mend their broken pasts?
At the end of my mom’s battle with breast cancer, I told myself to take a break from writing. So I watched every holiday romance movie I could find on Neckflix (as my youngest calls it). In one, the lead female would text her deceased mom, paying the phone bill just so she could feel like she was talking to her. It had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the story, but I thought, That is the interesting bit. What if that was the story?
In a frenzy, I wrote Hadley’s part of This Year within a few weeks. Then I drafted two more characters, weaving together a holiday story of friendship, grief, and first love.
It has grumpy-sunshine characters, anonymous communication, forced proximity, enemies-to-lovers, and so, so, so much holiday fun, including ballet, Black Friday shopping, holiday cookies, stargazing, guitar, and ice castles. I still get warm fuzzies thinking about it, several years later.
Happy holidays! May you find all the longed-for rest and joy this month, and maybe some stargazing, cookies, and ice castles too.
Love, Heidi
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this time of year is a difficult one. Take care of yourself. I'm glad that you were able to get some inspiration from it, though. And I know this story will help lots of people. You're amazing!